BY
                    DAVE "I`M JUST LIKE HIM" DIAMOND

[Okay.   I've  decided  to try and clear-up one of Dave Diamond's editor
un-friendly  articles  for  you  Kei.   I even edited the puctuation and
stuff!  ..... Never again!  :) - BB/TrF]


I  am  honoured  to  write this article as I felt that Benny Hill was my
role  model  and if he wasn`t around in the many times in which I needed
cheering  up  I  would  not have been able to be what I hope I am to you
today... a man that can always provide a few giggles and laughs.

Benny  Hill  is without question one of Britain's greatest comedians and
inventors of original and ground-breaking comedy. Benny Hill`s real name
was Alfie Hill first got into acting because of his love for stage plays
in his home town of Southampton in the early thirties.

[Sorry,  but  I  HATE  Benny  Hill.   Why?   Because  now  all the other
countries  around  the world think that all our comedy is like the shite
that  Benny  Hill  churned  out.  Oh,  they also think Benny Hill is our
ONLY "comedian".  - BB/TrF]

Through-out  his  career,  Benny  has been a milkman, stage hand, double
act,  editor,  singer,  actor,  radio  entertainer  and of course comdey
performer.

[What  does  it  mean  if  someone  keeps jumping in and out of jobs?  -
BB/TrF]

Benny`s  father  known  as the "captain" ruled with a very iron first in
the fact that he didn`t want his two sons growing up to be bone idle and
have  no  prospects  for  a  decent  career.   [Well,  I bet Benny's dad
would've been disappointed - BB/TrF]

Benny  Hill invented comedy routines that we take for granted today such
as  appearing  on  screen as a number of different characters at once, &
using  the  matt  technique to create bizarre and extremly well produced
art work. [Huh? - BB/TrF]

Ben had a younger brother called Leonard who was at first Benny`s comedy
man in a double act with Benny being the straight man.

The  crowd  liked  Benny  more  so Leonard moved on as an adviser before
taking his career choice as an English teacher.

Even  though  Benny seemed an out-going person, this is far far from the
truth  as Benny like so many other comdedians was incredibly shy, on one
occasion  where  he  was  stopped  in  his  directors car along side his
lifelong  director and friend Dennis Kirkland, Benny got out of the car,
walked  down  the  road  and  stopped  and  hung his head, almost like a
naughty school boy.

Benny`s  naughty  schoolboy humour was always aimed at the ladies of the
show  and  despite many people thinking that old Ben was homosexual this
idea  is  quite  propostorous as Benny wined and dined many women in his
lifetime  which he admired and loved dearly.  He proposed to a few girls
but  never  got married.

Benny  always  took  rejection  to  heart and nothing could cheer him up
whenever  this  occured,  so  Benny  turned  to creating masterpieces of
comedy.

It  was  at  this point that Ben became a workaholic and spent hour upon
hour in his modest home writing sketch after sketch.

The BBC originally had the rights to the first few episodes of The Benny
Hill Show but foolishly dumped him.  ITV had the good sense to take over
this  gem  of a show and screened it for as long as it would go on.  The
show  went  straight to the number 1 position knocking Coronation Street
from  the top with a staggering 21 million viewers.  The show carried on
this winning formula for years on end until a new manager at ITV decided
that  the  show  was  now old hat and should be replaced...what a mug he
was.   Thank  god there are still episodes of his fine work available in
the ITV archives, so lets hope they show them all again very, very soon!

Many  celebrities have found the humour of Benny Hill so great that they
invite  him  to  their homes for parties and get togethers, such notable
celebs  include Hugh Hefner the playboy king, Burt Reynolds, Dom Deluise
and even Michael Jackson!

Benny`s  dream  came  true  one day when his greatest role model Charlie
Chaplin  praised  his  work, his son Ben Chaplin wrote to Benny and told
him  how  much  his  father  had enjoyed his work and always admired his
skill and imagination.

To Benny this was a dream come true as his role model was admiring HIM!

Even  though Benny made a fortune in sales of his TV shows and albums, he
never   needed   any   money, people   would   offer  him  free  food  in
retaurants, wine in pubs and apart from that he never wanted a glamourous
lifestyle with cars, lots of houses and a huge wardrobe of clothes.

Benny  said it best when he quoted "I can only wear one pair of trousers
at a time, drive one car at a time, so why should I need so many?"

Benny`s  lifestyle  was  quite  simple  from what you would expect a 64
millionaire  to be living like, he lived in a cosy bungalow, had one TV,
an editing machine and a record collection - those were his only hobbies
and interests.

Bob Todd and Benny Hill got on famously as a team, the only problem they
had was whenever either of them appeared in drag - they would burst into
laughter at the sheer sight of it.

Because Benny Hill is such a perfectionist he hates to get things wrong,
so  Bob, not to disappoint Benny always bit his tounge when-ever he felt
like  laughing.   Benny  was  the same except that he always had a small
nail  file in his hands and whenever he felt like laughing he would poke
himself.   By  the time the sketch had finished he came off the set with
bloody hands.

Benny  also worked with On The Buses star Reg Varney in his early years,
Reg  tells  us  that  Benny was the straight man in their double act and
that  he always had him in stitches.  He said that one time Benny had to
cover  for  someone  else  and  did  a  stand  up spot without any prior
knowlege  or  material.   Benny  completed the role superbly and when he
went  back  stage Reg asked how it went to which Benny simply fainted in
Reg`s arms.

People  all  over  the  world  love  Benny, from right here in the UK to
Japan, America and even Australia.

I  felt  that Benny's TV show where he was in New York in 1992 was a bit
stale  compared  to  his usual shows and that the "spark" seemed to have
deserted him for that particular season.

Many  people  ask where Ben got the idea for the Hills Angels from, well
when  he  was  younger  he always used to sneak into the burlesque shows
where  young  ladies  danced  the  can-can  and danced beautifully.  Ben
always knew that pretty girls that danced and moved gracefully attracted
customers so he brought this knowlege to the TV world.

Benny also stared in some motion pictures like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang &
The  Italian  Job.

He  also made adverts, went to charities but never informed the press to
let them know about it.

It  was rumoured that Benny left his millions to a disabled girl that he
loved,  she had always rejected him from a simple date to even marriage.

I  remember  the  day  that  I was sitting in my armchair in the year of
1992, to read the front cover of The Sun newspaper front page that Benny
Hill had died.

It  was  one  of  those  moments  I  shall  never  forget, I dropped the
newspaper  and  felt a great loss for myself and for the whole world.  I
felt  as if I had lost a part of myself, my mentor if you will.  I cried
that  night  as I`m sure so did many others.

After  the  years that followed, nothing could ever replace Benny Hill's
blend  of  burlesque fun, Freddy Starr emulated Benny to an appaling and
frankly  embarrassing  degree,  the  world  had  lost  it`s  founder  of
imaginative and witty creativity.

The  world shall never know of another Benny Hill, sure many will try to
impersonate  his  style and humour and may get a few laughs from a fresh
audience  but  they  will  never  be able to emulate the personality and
charisma that only one man has....  the saucy boy Benny Hill.


[It  appears  that  you like all that "naughty boy" humour, and you find
things  like  Men  Behaving Badly "disgusting".  It's no wonder you love
Benny  Hill.  And I don't.  He used to get chased by loads of girls, and
he  never  once grabbed any of them by the arse-cheeks and screamed "You
slaaaarg,  I'm gonna poke you like the fat donkey you are!!  Seend ouuut
thhheee Spunk Squad!".  Sorry if I offended you Dave, but you don't like
Chlo  Annett,  and  I  don't like Benny Hill.  Y'see, Chlo is the best
ever actress on the planet and she is probably THE SEXIEST FEMALE I HAVE
EVER  SEEN!   Ahhhh...   that  mouth, that laugh, that face, those eyes,
them  bumps...   I  feel  a  "Ode  to  Chlo" article coming on .....  -
BB/TrF]

[Yeah, but that doesn't give you the right to rip Dave's article to shreds,
I have removed loads of your comments, just leave them alone in future! D!]

[Is  it me or is someone definetly getting their mitts on these articles
before  they  get to me and adding comments?  Now if you wanted to be an
official Word editor that would be another matter..  Kei]


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